Experience the Periscope
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Demo Writing Room
Anonymous Peer Feedback
Select any passage above to see simulated feedback
"The silence had its own pressure, its own demands"
✦ This is powerful imagery, but consider: What specific form does this pressure take? Does it press on your chest? Your temples? Ground it physically.
"Sarah's chest... turmoil"
✦ The turmoil/turmoil rhyme weakens the opening. Try: "matched the storm brewing in Sarah's chest" for clearer imagery.
"She'd ever write anything worth reading again"
✦ Consider showing this fear through action rather than internal monologue. Maybe she's flipping through old notebooks, comparing past and present work.